by Martin L. Collin

Let's face it, we're all "me-firsters" - from birth. There is, in fact, nothing more self-centred than a baby. As we mature, we (hopefully) become "socialized", educated in the skills of masking our self-centred nature with pleasantness and with the effective means for making those we encounter in life like us. We, nonetheless, remain "me-firsters". This means that we're ultimately interested in what can advance us and our interests, as well as those we identify as being part of our social unit, our family, our territory.

As human animals, over the eons of our evolution, we developed the means of communicating in order to advance our needs. Effective communication involves efficiently inter-relating with others in order to fulfill our needs. This conception of communications applies equally to selling company products in a competitive market as to informing our life-partners that we love them.

All people have needs. Effective communications enables one to offer benefits in order to fulfill those needs. "Charismatic" individuals achieve that aura chiefly by supplying to those around them the feeling that the other person is important, that what they say is being listened to, that someone CARES about them. People need caring, consideration, and acknowledgment of who they are. These needs are so strong that when people encounter others who really listen to them and indicate concern, a real magnetism is generated. Skilled communicators radiate to their listeners just such a message: here is a person who cares enough to be concerned about their needs, and who can offer the means to satisfying those requirements. This implies an investment on the part of the communicator - researching not only the listeners' needs, but their latest situation; needs change as one's situation in life changes.

Confrontational interactions are extremely inefficient in advancing the interests of those concerned. Most dialogue involves bridging the opposition of one participant's thesis and another's antithesis by means of a wise and mutually satisfying synthesis. This is a key principle of negotiations, and it can prove of significant importance in virtually all forms of communication efforts.

All communications, be they oral or written, involve some key principles. Amongst these are the "Five C's": clear, correct, complete, concise, and courteous or considerate.

Being clear means saying what one means in easily understood terms. Waxing eloquent and trying to impress others with the learned level of one's vocabulary may be a means of showing off but not of conveying a meaningful message. Keep it simple. Make your point directly and effectively, in terms the other understands.

One's message must be correct, the facts verifiable and applicable to the situation in question. Nothing stands to defeat one's efforts more quickly than indicating such poor control of one's interests that key information can be shown to have been incorrectly presented. Believability plummets!

A complete message means that all essential details are communicated. When arranging a meeting, to neglect to note its purpose, participants, place, and time would certainly not fulfill one's goals.

Having said that, needless verbiage, words unnecessarily added, and redundancies can reduce the effectiveness of one's message. Keep it concise and to the point, but don't forget key concerns and data.

Courtesy and consideration are terms that don't simply mean courtly manners or being polite. They basically mean making others feel good about themselves. An extreme example might involve responding to a strongly worded letter of complaint from a customer. A confrontational response would heighten negative feelings, and likely lose the customer. But take, on the other hand, the possibility of wording one's response so as to thank the customer for having taken the time to bring the matter to one's attention - to enable one to deal with the issue. Others might simply have "voted with their feet", and without any further word of explanation, moved on to other suppliers for their needs. The fact that the writer of the letter made the effort to deal with the situation is appreciated. One will look into the matter seriously, find any way possible of remedying the complaint, and will get back to the writer of the letter at the earliest occasion possible with a progress report and results. The letter writer was quite upset when the initial letter of complaint was sent. But such a response, acknowledging the person's concerns, complimenting their responsibility in bringing the matter to light, and indicating the intention of correcting matters, can only produce a feeling of satisfaction, which will advance long-term interests of maintaining good will. Courtesy and consideration are really extremely effective means of promoting objectives in society.

In the course of matching proposed benefits to listeners' needs, the basic focus of the communication must be "what's in it for YOU". Facts can be offered to illustrate features of the proposed benefit, what it is, what it does, and most critically, what it does for the listener. Proof of such facts generates interest, which in turn generates motivation in the listener.

When planning either written or oral communication, to further one's objectives, it's helpful to consider maximum and minimum goals - the range of results one desires to achieve at best, or could live with, at worst. One might want to market a product at a significant profit, or at least keep the door open to further contact in one's marketing efforts.

Four distinct stages can be involved in any communication: the opener, the main body of the presentation, the closer, and fielding of possible questions. The objective of the opener is to gain immediate interest and focus attention.

The main bodyof the communication should seek to maintain this interest, perhaps offering a benefit, and generating desire by proposing additional benefits. The impression of a logical flow of ideas and progression towards a reasonable objective is promoted by outlining the communication before putting words on the skeleton framework. An example of such a preparatory technique can be seen in the Appendix below - which is an outline of the basic points examined in this article.

The closer asks for and tries to generate action on the part of the listeners, to achieve agreement by means of a decisive concluding statement. It puts the ball in the listeners' court, asking the audience to DO something. It can do this by asking effective decision questions and recommending actions.

Finally, fielding questions is a true minefield for any presentation, and requires knowledgeable responses and direct reaction. An inquiry should never be "short-stopped" - trying to give a bogus answer just to quiet the questioner. Far more believable is the presenter who, when asked a challenging question to which an immediate answer isn't forthcoming, replies that the point is really important and intriguing, and although the presenter doesn't know what's being requested, she or he will look into the matter and get back to the person as soon as possible. Such a reply generates a feeling of believability, far more effectively advancing the efforts of the presenter than merely trying to by-pass an inquiry with a glib but incorrect response.

Rarely are a presenter's ideas accepted unequivocally and with acclaim. More likely, objections will be raised. Wise presenters anticipate the resistance they'll probably encounter, and plan for it with prepared responses to the concerns of their listeners.

Communication reflects immediately the self-image of the presenter. An aggressive approach isn't likely to further the objectives of the presenter; it merely awakens the need for resistance in the listener. Similarly, a non-assertive attitude on the part of the presenter could easily engender a feeling in the audience of a presenter's lack of believability. The most effective image for a presenter to give to an audience is that of assertive self-esteem and a sense of one's own worth. This generates in listeners a feeling of confidence while not engendering defensive opposition. Successful communicators tend to remain modest, never exaggerate or overstate. Far more effective is incisive and accurate understatement.

Finally, communications ought to further a positive focus on possibilities and challenges, rather than a negative dwelling upon problems. Opening up new opportunities and reaching proposed solutions can inspire one's listeners to fulfill their objectives, amongst which might well be the recommended lines of approach the presenter seeks to communicate.

Martin Lee Collin, (BA, MSc, PhD) has been an Instructor of Effective English Communications Skills since 1985. He works with many of the major institutions, government agencies, and businesses in Israel, as well as with private students. Marti received his TOEFL Certification from Cambridge University, UK. He can be reached as follows: Tel: 03-699-4357; Cell: 054-99-4357; E-Mail: mlcollin@netvision.net.il

Appendix: Outline

1.         What “Communications” is all about

2.         Offer Benefits to Needs
            .        Research needs carefully & timely

3.         Thesis : Synthesis : Antithesis

4.         The 5 C’s
            a.       Clear
                        . Easily understood terms
            b.       Concise
            c.       Complete
            d.       Correct
            e.       Courteous / Considerate – making others feel good about themselves

5.         Focus: “What’s in it for YOU?”
            a.       facts                 à            features          à            benefits
            b.       what it is           à            what it does     à           what it does for listener
            c.       proof                à             interest           à           motivation

6.         Set maximum & minimum goals

7.         Staging communication

            a.       Opener: gain immediate interest
            b.       Main body: maintain interest with a benefit;
                      create desire with an additional benefit
                        .       Outlining
            c.       Closer: ask for and obtain action / agreement with a decisive closing
                        (1.)       Decision questions to ask
                        (2.)       Recommended actions

            d.       Fielding questions effectively

8.         Anticipate resistance one is likely to encounter, & plan how to counter such resistance

9.         Reflect a personal assertive self-image (not non-assertive nor aggressive)
            .       Remain modest: don’t overstate (better to understate) nor exaggerate

10.       Focus on possibilities and challenges